No Regrets

What has Audrey been up to lately? you probably are not wondering. Well, I will tell you anyway. My summer weeks have been quickly wasting away. If I'm not working at my school's recreation center, then I'm babysitting sweet but sometimes devilish children of various families. Or watching True Blood. It's a recent, obnoxious obsession. On the weekends you can find me at this town's hippest bars, fulfilling, oh I'd say about 0% of my hopes and dreams via lemondrops, vodka sodas, and flirtations with cute (well, sometimes not) boys. The fantastic part about this schedule is that I get to make quick, fairly easy money without having to worry about school, my main source of stress. I finally can take my mother's advice about saving money, while simultaneously being financially able to spend some, too. From the outside looking in, my summer may look near perfect. Stress-free and carefree, full of drinks and boys, raking in the cash monay. My only real concern is making it to work/babysitting on time.

Yet, I have not written except maybe once this summer. When you tell people you want to be a professional writer, one of the toughest fields to break into, a lack of actually picking up the pen creates a few problems. On top of this, I make thoughtless mistakes and rash decisions, and manage to blame them on the pursuit of spontaneity. I have always been someone who has claimed no regrets. I do believe that even our biggest mistakes can be turned into lessons learned. Why trade a lesson for a cleaner slate? Lately, though, I've had this issue where I have just decided to ignore mistakes and, beyond that, ignore my conscience. A bit of a scary realization to experience, let me tell you, but an eye-opening one as well. The main solution to this problem is the replacement of shallow instant gratifications and indulgings with goals and aspirations. I never completely ridded myself of the latter; I think I just slowly but surely moved them to the back burner in exchange for a fun-filled summer. I'm so not saying that fun gets moved to the back burner now; maybe instead, fun, responsibility, and goals all get placed on front burners. Ya know, 'cause I have one of those big, industrial-sized stoves with many front burners in this hypothetical case. How does that sound, all you people who are saints enough to still be reading my ramblings? Good? I thought so, too.

Cheers to no regrets & lessons learned.

Weird

Isn't it funny how many different loves there are?

I love new shoes. I love the adrenaline of a good run. I love purely blissful moments with my family, no matter how few and far between. I love my family, even when I don't like my family. I love a good book. I love God. I also love Chelsea Handler. And I love Charlie, my Border Collie. I love coffee... so, so much. I love brainstorming, but only when I don't love procrastinating. I love Pinterest. I love New York City, and I love me in New York City. I love the socks my grandma knits me. I love the feeling I get from helping others. I love my job. I love frozen yogurt (... but, duh).

Yet not one of those loves is the same as another. We feel a slightly personalized- for lack of better word- affection for a thing, person, place, idea, situation that we love, no matter how big or small. The Greek even have three words for love: agape for unconditional love, eros for passionate love, and philia for an affectionate and friendly love- which attempt to somewhat categorize certain types of loves.

The reality is this: some loves are fleeting, others everlasting. Some last as long as a breathtaking sunrise that is forgotten a week later. Others last from the first breath of life to our very last. Keep finding things to love, for you'll never find the same one twice. To me, that pursuit is where the true joy lies.

{My sister, whom, yes, I also love.}

{via}

Chopped

I received a bunch of sweet responses and advice for my last post regarding what I should do with my hair, so I thought I should share the final product! I decided to simply go with a trim to clean up the ends. She only took about an inch off, so it doesn't look much different. But, oh, how it feels...divine. I also asked my hairstylist to add more layers so my absurdly thick hair could be manageable once again. As I've never put any color in my hair (out of sheer fear that I wouldn't be able to keep up with getting my roots redone regularly), I stuck with that route and decided to continue letting the seasons and the sun take care of the color for me. I kind of like the natural, ombre-like thing my hair decides to do in the winter...although my hairstylist seemed to think I'm "just letting old highlights grow out." Hello, it's called keeping things au naturale!

{Please excuse the t-shirt and tired eyes; first day back at school with new classes and a new job seriously did some damage on my exhaustion levels.}

 How was your Monday that was really a Tuesday?

Be Happy

{graphic tee: Sans Souci Clothing; jeans: H&M; belt: J Crew; boots: Minnetonka; incredibly warm circle scarf (pictured below): Charlotte Russe; bangle and bicycle necklace: F21}

Have you ever heard that saying: "Do more of what makes you happy,"? That's what this shirt reminds me of, but in a Sparknotes version. Be Happy. What an incredible reminder to wear around all day, not only for myself, but for anyone I see, meet, come into contact with.

So often I find it so easy to slip into mundane daily routines of tasks and obligations- school, work, exercise, whatever it may be. I know if I took the two seconds to remind myself a few times a day that happiness is a choice, and I want to choose it, those routines that I sometimes drag myself through would turn into a contagious and genuinely joyous beam of light. Okay maybe that's a tad froo-la-la, but you get the picture, right? Not to say I won't have a few bad days here and there--I think that's only natural--but I'm talking about those days when I catch myself in a grumpy mood for no good reason? Be happy. That's all it takes. Happiness is a choice and an action and I choose it today.
Do you?

Lists, Inspiration, & A New Year

I've been doing a lot of thinking and brainstorming through lists lately.  I don't know why, but my brain has just been able to think clearer in this simplistic, to-the-point method of listing.  And seeing as I've been MIA from my blog for over a whole stinkin' month (um, yikes), I figured I'd try to get back into it via this new and trusty list shenanigans.

Concerning, oh, I'd say about the past month, here are things I have done and am currently doing:

• I finished my third semester at TCU.  It was not my strongest ending academically, but sometimes it's more about actually getting past the finish line. That's all it takes to inspire me to keep going, on certain occasions. At least for me. Can you tell I'm not a big school person? I'm more of a runner.
• I got a camera for Christmas, and let me tell you, this camera is perfection. It's a Canon Rebel T3i and I'm in love. To say the least.
• I got promoted from Lifeguard in the pool of our school rec center to 1 of 11 Team Leaders of the entire facility. Big step up for little old me! I'm ecstatic that I'll be able to interact and help more people on a more frequent basis. Ecstatic.
• I also got another internship in NYC for the coming summer, this time at Eventbrite.com. I'll be organizing, attending, maintaining, helping with, and social networking for all the events for clubs, charities, etc. that the company deals with in the city. I'm. Stoked.
• I've been training for a half marathon in February with my sister. Not only have we been bonding through the physical pain and perseverance, but we both also look a heck of a lot better in a pair of jeans...just saying.
• I got a New Years kiss from a complete stranger. And I did NOT like it. No further comments on that one...
• I keep getting faced with big life decisions. Not only my own, but friend's and family's, too, that I naturally want to help them with. What is this?! Am I growing up or something? I guess it had to happen eventually.

Even though all these outstanding things have been happening to me, I've been uninspired a lot creatively. Especially in my writing, in case you haven't noticed. But then I find myself getting inspired by the silliest things. Making it to a beautiful overlook while hiking with my family. Going for 3-, 4-, 5-mile runs with my sister and our Border Collie, Charlie. Watching my brothers and interact and laugh with the rest of my family, like actually, genuinely enjoying our company, for the first time in at least two years. These things all make me happy to my core, and even if they're temporary joys, I hope to remember them and embrace them when they do occur.

That, ladies and gentlemen, is my main resolution for 2012. What's yours?

Full of Grateful

{sweater: Gap, dress: Everly, boots: Minnetonka, across-the-body bag: Forever21, ring: I cannot remember for.the.life of me where I got this cutie... probably F21}

I am so utterly grateful to be in South Dakota with my best of friends, my sister and mom.  To laugh about the oddest, silliest things and eat (way too much) and pester each other and sip coffee together in Starbucks and visit sister on her lunch while she bites the bullet of working on the holiday.  

I'm grateful for the cool, breezy fall weather and these socks my grandma knit me to keep my toes warm and fuzzy when those breezes get nippier.  And for the quick phone call I had with her and my grandpa today.  To listen to their sweet voices that I don't pick up my phone and dial often enough to hear.  

I'm grateful for the hurt and hard times that only bring me closer to the people I love, and make me a stronger, smarter individual.

I'm grateful for my opportunities. My TCU education, summer internships, jobs, privileges, traveling.  For the comfort in knowing I'm rich- no no, I'm not talking in the monetary sense, but rich in love and laughter. In health and hope.  I'm rich in support and solace.  And, above all, I'm Bill-Gates-rich in family and friends.

Lastly... I'm grateful for The Hunger Games. Those books are so stinking good.  They're taking over my life (for the second time) and I'm really, really okay with it.

Happy Thanksgiving, beauties.

Birthday Blessings

{birthday cookie cake; the tastiness of it compensated for the teeny misspelling of my name}

I feel so lucky to have such amazing people in my life to celebrate my 20th year with.  Two decades of my life complete; how does that even happen?!  I had such an incredible birthday week, and even though I was hit with a bit of the post birthday blues yesterday- as well as an oncoming, brutal cold- I can't help but just be thankful for the celebrations held all for little old me this past week!  Even the littlest things mean the world to me.
And now, I only have two days of school to power through until I get to jet off to South Dakota to see my sister, who has to work on Thanksgiving, unfortunately.  My friends always make fun of me for being excited to go to South Dakota; "I forgot that was even a state," is one of the most common reactions.  My mom and I are going to keep her company around her work schedule, and, regardless of friends' remarks, I couldn't be more elated to get to spend time with just those two, even in South Dakota!

{new boots from my amazing mama} 

{what I like to call my "birthday cake nails": OPI- Bring On the Bling & American Apparel Nail Lacquer- Coney Island} 

{brown-sugar cinnamon apple crisps. so delicious. the simplest recipe ever found here} 

{a few of my great friends at my my birthday dinner Friday night} 

{a gorgeous bouquet of tulips from my mom}  

{birthday present to myself: new piercing. hellloooo industrial} 

{such a stunning sunset that I got to witness on a run last week. I took it as another birthday gift} 

{the cutest fold-over Ugg socks, knit by hand by one of my heroes, my grandma}

Pretty Words & Nostalgic Pictures

... that really don't go together whatsoever.
Oh well.  These are currently a couple of quotes and old pictures from the summer that make me oh so happy.  Enjoy, and happy Tuesday to everyone.  Who else thinks it should be Friday already?


"Today is never too late to be brand new." -Taylor Swift


"I can do everything through Him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:13


"I'd rather be working at something, than praying for the rain
So I wander on, till someone else is saved." -James Vincent McMorrow

{my beautiful (and much tanner than me) sister. such a strength in my life.}

 {a view from Brooklyn Bridge Park at sunset of the city that I find myself missing more and more everyday}

My One True Love: NYC

A Year In New York

If you've ever visited, lived in, wanted to go to, felt akin to, or dreamed about New York City, you must watch this video.

My skin shivers with chills every single time I watch it.  The images with the incredibly beautiful song get me.  It truly defines the magic of New York City and makes me itch with anticipation to be back as soon as possible.

Cancer

Consuming you from within,
A black, unexpected disease.
You lose control of your health,
Of your days,
Of your actions,
Of your hope,
Of your life.
The illness thrashes like waves against your insides,
Sanding down those once solid foundations.
It causes emotions you never believed would be part of you.
That is, before the sickness enveloped your being.
Rage, depression, excruciating pain,
They change everything, everyone around you.

What is this cancer?
It's uncontrollable.
Dangerous.
Lethal.
Destructive.
Unpredictable.
The cancer of addiction.


For my brothers.  I love you.  I'm continually praying for your health.

From Day to Night,

with denim on denim.

{denim button-up: A.N.A., denim shorts: See Thru Soul, belt: Target, sandals: Bamboo}

Versatile pieces fill up the majority of my closet.  Hence the repeat of a couple pieces in this post from recent outfit posts.  Can you find them?  It's perfect for days like today, where I can go from a casual, loungey, daytime outfit and swap a few ingredients to create a cute, sassy, nighttime getup.

On a side note, my family is going through a bit of mess.  Every family has them.  No family's not dysfunctional.  I know, a double negative.  But it's true.  Even knowing that, though, I can't help feeling a little disappointed, sad, and above all else, worried.  Sorry for the vagueness; I'm still kind of sorting out my feelings.  All I know is that this prayer has been getting me through my day.  

The Serenity Prayer

"God grant me the serenity 

to accept the things I cannot change; 
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference."

{jeans: H&M, scarf: Ann Taylor LOFT, wedges: Guess}

Lumberaud

{flannel: Forever21, tank: Forever21, shorts: Nordstrom, boots: Lucky Brand, headband & stud earrings Forever21, cheesy laugh pic: me}

Today consisted of sleeping through my alarm, getting a midterm back with a big fat C on it, skipping the gym (for the second time this week...it's only Tuesday y'all), crossing absolutely nothing off of my day's to-do list, consuming my water weight in coffee, and committing carbicide all day long.

Regardless, I still look at it as a good day.  I got to start my day with a phone call from my mom, who got me up in the knick of time to get ready for classes.  Speaking of classes, I miraculously made it to all four, consecutive, hour and a half classes that demolish beautify my Tuesdays and Thursdays.  I got to watch Sleepy Hollow in my popular culture class (such a Halloween treat, especially that Johnny Depp. Yum.).  I broke out my veeery favorite lumberjack-esque flannel that was totally inappropriate in the 80 degree weather, but I was so comfy it didn't even matter, especially during the six hours of class in which I normally freeze my booty off.  Not today!  And above all, after an devastating reminder yesterday, I couldn't help but just be thankful for life today.

I hope your Tuesday was as beautiful as mine.